For me it’s a sad Monday yesterday when I was out with My dear friend Caroline, we we’re talking about our mutual friend Renate, who had cancer, and how she was getting worse. We went to listen to Brazilian music, played by her neighbor in the TeaGarden, here in The Hague. After that we would go to “Zalige Zondag” in De La Gare, for poetry mixed with music.
It was pouring, so we decided to go by car to the places, because when we would be biking we would be wet before we would ‘ve left the end of the street. So we did, and we spoke about anything & everything. When we came in the Tea Garden, we sat down, and drank a nice cuppa T, until Caroline received a phone call Renate had died, and so we went to the Hallway to have a bit more peaceful place to talk. We we’re just talking about her, because she had visited her 1,5 week ago.
It was sad and a weird feeling, and our hearts went out to her husband, who stays behind with two young children. Despite the sadness we decided to go to the other place, to let ourselves be spoiled by poetry & music & booze (not for Me). So we did, and found a parking spot in front of the La Gare! Then Caroline made some phone calls, and then it was dry, as if The La Gare invited us in.
It was nice and busy already, and we picked a spot, and sat down, John welcomed Us, and his wife, and other people, the atmosphere was fine. While sitting there, a friend of Renate came in the door.. and Caroline said, this is unbelievable, and I said this is arranged, there is not such as coincidence, so Caroline walked up to him, and told him the dreadful news. We sat down and toasted on her, as the poets began.
It was difficult to stay focused, but there we’re good performers, who demanded our attention, and it was a lovely warm and good afternoon. I had taken pictures, and received compliments about them 🙂 That’s always nice to hear. It became dark outside, and it was still raining.
I bought two poetry-books, and we went home, I brought Caroline home, and went to pick up some dinner, and came home. Where I went looking for pictures of Renate. From a longtime ago. And I scanned them, as I worked on the pictures of the Poetry afternoon. The sadness floated through me, and I had to write something before I would go to sleep. So I did. It’s in Dutch and it’s called ” Veel te vroeg”. Ofcourse the picture wouldn’t be cooperative, nor would the text which I was putting on there, so it was another late night for Me, but what has to be done, had to be done.
I had to be early at the Doctors, because My bowels are in distress for the last 7 weeks apparently from My medication against the sugar. So this was going to be another short night. I woke up at 7 am, and prepared myself. I feel such a deep sadness, that I already knew that I wouldn’t keep it dry today. So I went to the Doctor, where I had to wait for an half hour.. before it was My turn, I had My pen and book with Me, but not much floated out of me.
When it was my turn, I told her that My belly was getting better, and it’s not every day anymore that it goes wrong. Of course I bursted out in tears, since I couldn’t hold it in. We spoke about some stuff, and the next check up, and I left all teary eyed. I had to go to gym, which I always do every Monday morning at the Physical therapist. I cried in the car, and when I parked I was over thinking, am I going in, with the risk of crying or am I going home? I decided to go in, and of course I had to cry when I told My fellow sportswomen what had happen. I looked a mess, but couldn’t be arsed, so I went upstairs, and did My warming up, and worked out, harder then usual. When the trainer asked how I was.. again I bursted out in tears. Oh well.. it was good to be out there , instead of being home all alone. So we had a good time working out, and afterwards, we went for a cup of coffee which we most certainly had earned.
I did shopping, and walked home. I went in My cellar and found other Photo books of ancient history, and found a nice picture of Renate with Milenko, so I scanned that one. And I’ve written the poem on a card for her Husband and children. Will post that card soon.
Tonight Ive gotta be earlier at acting, so Lia can try My sminck for My role “Maria”, so I need to eat earlier, to be in time. I feel really tired, drained, so what shall I do, go out, with My camera, or go to bed and nap.
Today is the funeral of Frans Brokx. His family did this in private. It made me angry, because I know how many people online would have liked to payed him a last visit. How important internet can be for people, as it is for Me. But.. wishes are to be respected, so I’m thinking of him, on his journey. Cheers Frans.
What I noticed last week, when the news about Frans his death came to me is.. that so many people hide into silence. Because they don’t know what to say. This gives Me an impression, that dying, and everything around that, is still a taboo for many folks. While it’s part of life, and we’re all getting to deal with it.
Alright, this is enough for now. I wish everyone, a good day.
Big huggz Marjon
Friends are kisses blown to us by angels
Renate & Milenko 1998
Have a safe journey Renate.