~ Spread your wings and fly ~
It’s iinevitable to come to that moment, that your child spreads it’s wings
to fly. I still remember the day he was born, like it was yesterday. How I
didn’t feel well, and had a bit of tummyacke, but never thought that that would
say the labour had began. How I was on the phone with My friend, who joked,
oh maybe it already started, the labour, how naive I was, 18 long years ago.
Then I started to page My ex, who didn’t show nor did he answer the phone.
He already was there in the evening, but he went out with his best friend for
a drink. Boy did I knew what that meant, but hey this was his child too, and we
married for better and worse, so he had to get his ass over here. The labour proceeded
and I went sighing, and kept on dailing and paging the bastard. Finally at 1 am
he picked up the phone drunk… and asked ‘ do I really have to come? ‘ . That was
the start of My labour, and the start of putting a new life into this world.
I couldn’t move, so it was horrible for Me to lay on My back all the time, and not
being able to move, while My ex was snoring on the table on the other side
of the room, what a help he was. I kept on ringing for the nurse, but she was
the bitch from hell, and said that it couldn’t be that bad, and let Me be, most
of the night, at 9 am in the morning, the doctor came in and he whistled,
I was going crazy because it felt like the baby was pounding, to get out.
That couldn’t be the case the same bitch nurse said.
I still remember. Then they drove Me to the operating room, because it
seemed that Milenko had shit in the water, which meant he couldn’t get
enough oxygen, so it had to get out NOW !!!
So I got an epidural, and I remember My ex telling Me afterwards, that
that Doctor was shaking his hand, so My ex thought the worst, but I didn’t
feel a thing, and got a dentist feeling from My bellybutton till ma toes, so I was
so happy 😀 Then Milenko didn’t wanted to leave, so they had to use the vacuum pomp
to get him out, and there he was, not one cry, just one Huge sigh, when he was
put on My chest for one moment, he smelled so sweet. I don’t know what to compare
it with, but I only remember it was a sweet smell, then they had to take him to
the incubator, and to check him out etc.
I was the happiest Mom on earth, by delivering My own son.
Now 18 years later, he flew out to Yugoslavia, for three and a half month
to work there, for his school. Work abroad. I’m used to the fact that he always
goes on holiday for 6 weeks to Yugoslavia, in the Summer, but now.. 3 long months
without My raskall here, it will be long, long and quiet for Me. Even no one
to argue with.
The time has come, although I know where he is at, at My ex family in laws,
where he is carried on hands (Dutch saying) Granny pampers the boy, as if
he can’t do anything himself. So No he wont get more independent, but
he will have to learn about working life there, and not sleeping in , and in
and go out, and sleep in. So I’m curious, how it will be going.
It does more with Me, than I first expected, but how can you predict
how it will feel, and how it will be, when they spread their wings to fly?
Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it.~Harold Hulbert~